Listening to Natalie...thinking of all dreams and hopes that song brings to me and memories, wrapped up and folded into my heart, and those will never fade and never erase. You never know what future might bring, you never expect things won't work out quite right in a relationship and when you realise, that moment slips through your fingers, and swallows you like quicksand. I am scared, never been that much scared about my near future, some weeks counting from now, going back home, is it for a holiday or is it for good? A part of me who draws me there so badly, friends, family, people I love and I care deeply, who know me inside out. I am going to see Jana, Ana Karina, Fernando, Andrea, and I will go back to be my old self. Sleep on my nana's lap, and listen to her amazing stories, Avenida Paulista, escadaria da Gazeta, my favourite spot, just watching that crowd is so amazing, so many people, different stories, love stories that unravel... Wish things were easier, you get married, have a life, kids, a future together, he holds your heart forever, love lasts a lifetime and afterdeath, you don't need to face first dates anymore, expectations of the new, you know he will hold your hands forever. I like the excitement, I love the idea of falling in love with someone and feel the sparks giving you goosebumps, and feeling safe, and sometimes I am simpler than people give me the credit for, we don't need luxury, we don't need big ceremonies to celebrate and we certainly don't need material possessions to prove how much we love and care about someone, of course we do need to be treated once in a while, with no reason, espontaneously, passionately, for me especially nothing beats the idea of writing a love letter, reading it, the idea of being adventurous, the idea of someone running after you even when you left to a different country just to say how much he loves you, the making-up sex full of feelings, and a kiss, so profound. I miss that, I wish I had a person who keeps me falling in love with him everyday and when I look deep into his eyes, I know he is truly mine and I am his, and everything around would be silenced, and that would be just me and him, wish I could be a star in somebody's else sky... Let's see, I don't create expectations, I create dreams to make them true...
O, I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this
I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
The angel sweet
Love of my life
I need this
Is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Or I'm leaving
