Tuesday, 25 May 2010

This ain't goodbye

Minha trilha sonora dessa semana devaneia entre o novo album do album da banda norte-americana Train e a musica da Natalie Merchant, My Skin e muito John Mayer, Slow dancing in a burning room. E elas refletem o momento que estou vivendo agora, me sinto que minha pele esteja dancando em uma sala e queima por dentro e tento deixar o lugar mas eu nao consigo e me esforce mesmo assim eu continuo... E nao e' calma antes da tempestade, apenas o meu coracao ferido e minha reflexao diante da vida.
Quantas vezes voce imagina situacoes diferentes, e muitas vezes se projeta para aquele lugar secreto, que so' voce conheca, voltando para memorias, algumas dolorosas, algumas felizes, mas principalmente sentindo, e vivendo um futuro talvez irrealistico, mas que o mantem salvo, porque na verdade ninguem pode nos salvar de nos mesmos e essa a maneira que sem riscos sobrevivemos, ate que se alcance os sonhos. Por isso, meus queridos, nunca deixe de sonhar, mesmo que palavras, pessoas e as circunstacias tentam provar o contrario, nao e' um cliche isso, isso se chama determinacao e isso o mantem vivo.
O risco de amar, ah o amor... Amamos tao erroneamente, porque talvez nao arriscamos o suficiente. Quantas vezes voce ou eu deparamos, e aquela pergunta bate em nossa porta, 'e se'? Porque nunca saberemos, se tivessemos conversado com aquele estranho no cafe, quem sabe nossa vida mudaria? E se nao tivessemos corrido tanto? E se aquela pessoa que queremos tanto nao fosse casado? E se nao tivessemos nos conhecido antes? E se eu nao tivesse perdido meu voo? Ai que deja vu, estou ouvindo Kid Abelha, Grand Hotel aqui.
Oportunidades vao e vem todos os dias da nossa vida, basta abrirmos a janela para ve-las.
Eu tive um sonho, ue estava caindo da janela, o engracado que ao inves de aproveitar a queda, sentir o ar, meu medo era de cair, assim agimos na vida enxergamos apenas as consequencias na vida e acabamos nao nos entregando. Eu nao quero ser aquela que nunca arriscou. E talvez devemos arriscar a nossa pele queimar. E nao se apegar a dor, porque ao contrario, se concentrarmos na dor, deixamos de enxergar quem estara segurando a nossa mao nesse momento.
E enquanto houver tempo, isso nao sera um adeus...

Monday, 1 February 2010

My beloved wife by Natalie

Listening to Natalie...thinking of all dreams and hopes that song brings to me and memories, wrapped up and folded into my heart, and those will never fade and never erase. You never know what future might bring, you never expect things won't work out quite right in a relationship and when you realise, that moment slips through your fingers, and swallows you like quicksand. I am scared, never been that much scared about my near future, some weeks counting from now, going back home, is it for a holiday or is it for good? A part of me who draws me there so badly, friends, family, people I love and I care deeply, who know me inside out. I am going to see Jana, Ana Karina, Fernando, Andrea, and I will go back to be my old self. Sleep on my nana's lap, and listen to her amazing stories, Avenida Paulista, escadaria da Gazeta, my favourite spot, just watching that crowd is so amazing, so many people, different stories, love stories that unravel... Wish things were easier, you get married, have a life, kids, a future together, he holds your heart forever, love lasts a lifetime and afterdeath, you don't need to face first dates anymore, expectations of the new, you know he will hold your hands forever. I like the excitement, I love the idea of falling in love with someone and feel the sparks giving you goosebumps, and feeling safe, and sometimes I am simpler than people give me the credit for, we don't need luxury, we don't need big ceremonies to celebrate and we certainly don't need material possessions to prove how much we love and care about someone, of course we do need to be treated once in a while, with no reason, espontaneously, passionately, for me especially nothing beats the idea of writing a love letter, reading it, the idea of being adventurous, the idea of someone running after you even when you left to a different country just to say how much he loves you, the making-up sex full of feelings, and a kiss, so profound. I miss that, I wish I had a person who keeps me falling in love with him everyday and when I look deep into his eyes, I know he is truly mine and I am his, and everything around would be silenced, and that would be just me and him, wish I could be a star in somebody's else sky... Let's see, I don't create expectations, I create dreams to make them true...

O, I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this
I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
The angel sweet
Love of my life
I need this
Is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Or I'm leaving

Monday, 11 January 2010

To Be With You

PS: Essa musica e' para o meu amigo, Fernando(MTV), um grande fa de poser rock(?), saudades de voce, saudades de quando comentavamos os nossos seriados preferidos, saudades de ser chamada The Flash, saudades das cartas com fotos do Candlebox, saudades das horas que passavamos no telefone tipo, escuta essa musica, agora essa, etc, saudades do fato que voce tinha uma super crush pela Jewel e pela Jennifer Love Hewitt. Mas devo confessar essa musica especialmente para videoke, show!

Hold on little girl Show me what he's done to you Stand up little girl A broken heart can't be that bad When it's through, it's through Fate will twist the both of you So come on baby come on over Let me be the one to show you I'm the one who wants to be with you Deep inside I hope you feel it too Waited on a line of greens and blues Just to be the next to be with you Build up your confidence So you can be on top for once wake up who cares about Little boys that talk too much I've seen it all go down Your game of love was all rained out So come on baby, come on over Let me be the one to hold you Chorus Why be alone when we can be together baby You can make my life worthwhile And I can make you start to smile When it's through, it's through Fate will twist the both of you So come on baby come on over Let me be the one to show you

Many of horrors

Em que nos tornamos? Por que o amor esta tao subestimado? Por que pessoas se vendem tanto para a midia? Por que as pessoas deixam se levar por ganancia? Mentiras, por que pessoas nao sao capazes de conquistar outras pelo simples fatos de elas serem elas mesmas? E' brutal, e' cruel ver que como as pessoas modificam tanto seu exterior para ser outro alguem apenas para 'agradar' ao outro, e se tornarem escravos. Por que nao podemos viver pelo conceito de que Deus nos fez livres? Eu nem sei porque perco meu tempo para assistir programas assim (Take me out), talvez porque eu goste de analisar o ser humano, por pura curiosidade... Sinto muito mas eu nao consigo me enquadrar nesse estereotipo de 'Beautiful people', nao consigo me maquiar tanto, nao consigo exibir meu corpo com tanta vulgaridade, fingir que sou uma burra e estupida que nao sabe nem onde o proprio o umbigo e', sei la nao consigo ser tao 'cool' e desprendida assim, nunca fiquei por ninguem por puro interesse de ascensao social, nao consigo ser tao feliz assim, pessoas usam as outras, fazem sexo sem ter consideracao pelos sentimentos envolvidos, eu nao consigo ser assim, nao consigo nao me importar, sou muito sensivel...shit!!! Talvez eese motivo que sou tao atraida ao grunge, por que KC nao era cinico, era rustico, cru, e isso nao agrada as pessoas que tentam viver em uma biosfera centrada e perfeita e isso nao e' realidade!!! Sei la o que pensar...

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Drops of Jupiter

Nao vou sair mais de casa, nao vou fazer mais nada, defitivamente meu inferno astral comecou, nao sei mais o que fazer, minha vida esta virada de cabeca para baixo. Sera que assistir Big Brother vai realmente mudar minha vida? Basshunter Jonas and Katya, ai meu Deus! Ou ficar assistindo esses filmes romanticos, ajudara em alguma coisa? Estou amando Biffy Clyro!!!!! Nao fazia a minima ideia de que eles eram escoseses ate hoje!! Odeio qualquer forma de comunicacao, porque elas sao falhas!!!! Pelo menos dei muitas risadas com o meu amigo Fernando, gente nos falamos muitas besteiras mesmo, e minha amiga Andrea, poxa ela me fez chorar de muitas saudades e rir muito hoje. Parece que o povo me largou no msn, falta de comunicacao mesmo. Sao 2am, e nao 3am como na musica do Matchbox 20, hilario, eu cantando Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart, amanha escrevo mais ou menos, ai sei la, seja o que for, NEVERMIND....

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Alien by Bush from their 1st Album 16 Stones

the satelite comes and goes we give each other all we know in silence we still talk by the light of the stereo we waltz and will you rain down in your cinematic love truck gonna hold you like nothing's gonna stop us and she comes to take me away she's all that i needed i dont breathe another lover no flicker on the tv screen everything's more than it seems mighty backward fall we stare at the light on the wall and i swear to this she felt like velvet second blonde child like velvet, velvet and she comes to take me away i don't breathe another lover i'm an alien you're an alien it's a beautiful rain, beautiful rain i'm an alien you're an alien it's a beautiful rain, beautiful rain i'm an alien you're an alien it's a beautiful rain, beautiful rain,beautiful rain beautiful beautiful when she come around again when she come around again around again around again around again i'm an alien you're an alien it's a beautiful rain, beautiful rain i'm an alien you're an alien it's a beautiful rain, beautiful rain

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

The Show by Lenka

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not
I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
dum de dum
dudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
dum de dum
dudum de dum
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show